


Uttering Truths

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Drama, F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-10
Updated: 2012-06-10
Packaged: 2017-11-07 11:09:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/430428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Flannery O’Connor said that the truth doesn’t change according to our ability to stomach it.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Uttering Truths

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t hear from these two much together anymore so there’s always a little excitement when I do.

“I didn’t know you could sew.” Hotch walked back into the living room and put the cup of coffee on the table.

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me, Aaron Hotchner.” Emily smiled when she said it.

“So you have secrets?”

“Everyone has secrets. I don’t even like to call them that. Let’s just call them mysteries. All of the most interesting people have many mysteries.”

“My specialty is solving mysteries.”

“Mine too. Ow.”

Emily dropped the needle, thread, and costume and looked at her bleeding index finger. It had been a while since she’d taken on a project like this, though sewing was a bit like riding a bike. It didn’t take her long to hit her stride though an injury wasn’t out of the question.

“Are you alright?” he asked, trying to keep his composure as she sucked her finger between her lips.

“Mmm hmm,” she nodded. “It’s a hazard of the job.”

“I didn’t hear you.”

Emily popped her finger out of her mouth. “Hazard of the job.”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you tonight, Prentiss. I’ll get you some peroxide and a Band-Aid.”

“It’s a prick…not a booboo. I’ll work through it. You should sit down because you’ve been running around like a Stepford husband all night.”

“I didn’t know there was a such thing as a Stepford husband.” He sat in the chair. His first mind said to sit on the couch but that was pushing it.

“It was a crappy sequel but it does exist; a bit like _Grease 2_.”

“Now that was just wrong.”

“That’s what I'm saying.”

She laughed and that made Hotch smile. Emily came over to his place tonight to sew Jack’s tomato outfit for the school play. It was tomorrow evening and Hotch had forgotten about it. In his mind Jessie was going to do it but she broke her wrist playing racquetball a couple of weeks ago. It was Jack who reminded him just the day before yesterday. 

The news sent his father on a tailspin. He wasn’t the world’s best sewer. Hotch did OK and could probably survive but he refused to let his kid be the ugliest tomato in the second grade. The thought of calling his mother crossed his mind but she’d never let him forget it, even if she did it out of love. 

The thought of calling Haley’s mother lasted an even shorter time than calling his own. He could hardly remember how Emily got wrapped up in the to-do, probably from simply asking how Jack was doing. But it was Wednesday night and there she was on his couch sewing. Stranger things had probably happened but Hotch couldn’t think of one at the moment.

“Where did you learn to sew?” he asked.

“I honestly don’t remember. So much of my early childhood is a blur of embassies and new homes and lesson upon lesson upon lesson. It was just one of the many things I learned as a young girl. In the Middle East at that time so many mothers made their daughter’s clothes. All the girls knew how to sew. I guess that’s when I learned too.”

“It sounds like you were a busy kid.”

“I was full of curiosity. My parents had to do something to occupy my time. So they got me lessons out the wazoo. Damn, you're going to see the stitching. No offense, but this isn’t the best material.”

“None taken.” Hotch sipped his tea. “Jack just has to look like a decent tomato. I didn’t go for the Parisian silk.”

“Do you have any green? I want to line the collar so he doesn’t look like an apple.”

“I don’t.” Hotch shook his head. “Dammit, I don’t.”

“Its OK, I’ll make due.”

“Jack is going to be upset. I've been so busy with work and my life that I completely forgot about this. He's never going to forgive me.”

“Don’t be silly. When I'm done he’ll be the best tomato in the history of bad elementary school plays. And Daddy will be a hero.”

“I'm telling him that you made it.” Hotch said. “I don’t take credit I don’t deserve.”

“We’ll say that we did it together.”

“I can stitch a needle but it takes a while.”

“You were smart enough to ask me if I could sew.”

“Is that what happened?” he asked.

“What? You don’t remember what happened?”

“It’s just been a really long couple of weeks. I think I need a good night’s sleep and then I’ll be alright.”

“I think you need two weeks vacation.” Emily replied. “That might scratch the surface on being alright. Why don’t you and Jack go somewhere?”

“He went on two whirlwind vacations this summer. I went to Pakistan.”

“I'm thinking that wasn’t a vacation.” She shook her head. “You never told me what that was about.”

“I was given a once in a lifetime opportunity and I had to take it.” Hotch said.

“You had to go to Pakistan? You had to be millions of miles away from the people who love you? I mean I know it was a hell of an opportunity but Hotch…”

“Things fell apart when you weren't with us.” He barely spoke above a whisper. 

Hotch didn’t want to have this conversation but it had been brewing for months. So many words were on the tip of his tongue but they were better off swallowed. His team was still broken in so many ways; pieces slowly being glued back together. If Hotch shook it up again it might be shattered beyond repair. He also had no intention of stepping on anyone’s toes. They had all been through enough.

“I'm so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Emily. It’s my fault. I made the decision and maybe that’s why I went away. It was hard to live with, facing the team and the grief everyday that I knew I caused.”

“I should've come to you once I found out Doyle was back.” Emily said. “I just should've trusted you. But putting the people I loved in danger, the people who loved me, was not an option.”

“Hindsight is 20-20 for all of us.”

“Yeah.” nodding, Emily went back to her sewing. 

She needed to concentrate if she didn’t want to be sitting on Hotch’s nearly comfortable couch all night. Sleep would be a good thing eventually. But she loved Jack too and it was important that she made him the best costume ever. He was on her list of people to make things up to as well. Even if he thought she was out saving the world from harm and had no real idea what had happened, the seven months apart weren't any easier on either of them.

“Hotch, would it be alright if I came to Jack’s play tomorrow night?”

“Inviting you is the least I can do for you saving my ass. Anyway, he would really love it. The show, _Fun with the Food Pyramid_ is from six to about 7:15. Then Jessie, Sam, and I were going to take him to the Georgetown Diner for celebratory dessert. It is his theatrical debut after all…a sundae is in order.”

“He said his lines for me earlier. He's going to be amazing.”

“Jessie will have the camera rolling I'm sure. Everyone in class has a part but not all of them have lines. Your being there will just make him more excited about it.”

“I've missed so much. I feel like he's done all this growing up and I wasn’t here.” Emily said, focusing on her sewing as she spoke. “There's been enough loss; I never want Jack to go through something like that again. Not that I would ever compare myself to Haley…”

“You never have. I understand what you're saying. Jack missed you a lot when you weren't here and didn’t like that he couldn’t even call you. The lie I told didn’t satisfy him but he accepted it.”

“I hate that you had to lie to him.” Emily said.

“So do I but I'm not doing it anymore. I'm not lying to anyone anymore.”

“Good.” She smiled. “Flannery O’Connor said that the truth doesn’t change according to our ability to stomach it.”

“She also said you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you odd.”

“I should've known you knew her.”

“I went to Pakistan because the idea of coming into the BAU everyday and you not being there was unbearable.” Hotch said. “Here I was knowing you weren't even dead and I think I may have been in a worse hell because you still weren't there. I thought I had time, I thought I had all the time in the world to avoid saying what needed to be said, but then you were gone.”

“What did you want to say?” Emily only glanced at him for a moment. She stopped sewing and drank some of her tea. It was lukewarm now but still delicious. A clove to go with it would be perfect. “Do you mind if I smoke a clove? I’ll go outside if…”

“Don’t be silly.” Hotch waved away such a notion. It was raining outside; staying inside where it was comfortable was a better idea. He got up, took her teacup, and put it in the microwave. On the way back he grabbed her bag and handed it to her on the couch. “I want you to be comfortable. Open the window and have your clove.”

“Thanks.”

Emily grabbed the sterling silver cigarette case before digging out the Zippo lighter with the hammer and sickle on it. It had been a birthday gift from Kevin Lynch. Going over to the window, Emily opened it before lighting up. A chilly breeze caused her to shiver. Spring had not come to the nation’s capital weather wise, the 50s were still lingering. It got even colder at night. Not that Emily minded an extra blanket anyway.

“I'm so glad you're back.” He was back up and getting her tea again. “We weren't the same when you weren't here.”

“You're not the same now that I'm back.” She took the deep inhale of the clove. One of the few good things about being in Paris was getting her hands on cloves. Emily bought enough Ziganovs to survive until the Second Coming or the zombie apocalypse, whichever came first.

“No, but we’re better. I'm better and it’s because of you.”

“I missed you so much when I was gone.”

“I felt the same way.” Hotch started walking toward her.

“So many times I wanted to reach out, to you, to the team. I knew Doyle was still out there though and couldn’t let anything happen to you because of my past sins. I've already lost enough.”

“You're not going to lose me, Emily. Jack and I are here to stay. We want you to be part of this family and never leave us again.”

“Is that so I can sew more veggie costumes?” her laughter was nervous. Emily put her hands on her stomach, feeling the butterflies there. She wasn’t sure if they would pass or cause her to throw up dinner. Being the latter would be bad…she loved the Doritos tacos she and Morgan got at the drive-thru before she went over to see Hotch and Jack.

“I owe you big time for that.”

“I don’t want to be owed, Aaron.” Emily looked at him when she used his first name.

“What do you want?”

“I want to be loved.”

“You are. You are loved 150% and more everyday. You're back and we’re whole again. I'm whole again and so is my son. I love you, Emily Prentiss.”

He finally moved into her arms; it had been a long time coming. Hotch thought about all the times he could have held her, legitimate times, and never did. There was after she took the beating from Cyrus, the car accident where she was almost killed, or when Matthew Benton died. When she came looking for him after Foyet stabbed him and all the times she was there for him and Jack after Haley was murdered were also missed opportunities. 

Emily always put herself out there and Hotch held back. He wasn’t holding back anymore…he was holding on for dear life. How many times could a man make the same mistake before he wasn’t given anymore chances? This might be Hotch’s millionth or his last. He wasn’t planning to screw it up and find out which.

***


End file.
